Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Your momma's so fat that when she sits on a penny Lincoln dies once again!!
"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."
TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you? CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking? TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking. CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that? TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank. CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out? TECH: I'm not sure I understand? CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.