Yo momma is so fat, that the last time she farted, a director came up with the movie "Twister".
Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered. Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
Your mamma is so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!
Q:Why did the woman cross the road? A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?
Sign seen in a bar: "Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."