Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers. And wins.
Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A. The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?" The nympho says, "Are you done already?" The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'