Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead, because she wanted to make up her mind.
Yo momma’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
Your momma so fat... Her blood type is Ragu.
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Doc, every time after sex I hear whistle. What's your age? 70. You know, this is very natural. It would strange if you heard applause...
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen