Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
Yo' Mama is so fat, you have to slap her thigh and ride the wave in to have sex with her.
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
When you think that you are looking at Chuck Norris' picture, think again... he's looking at you.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."