Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
Vote:
A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial.
When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
Vote:
My wife has given me a reason to live – revenge.
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
A: The Food!
Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room?
A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.
One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"
There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice.
He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days.
"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day."
So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day.
The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?"
She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.