Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
How do you get a blonde to drown?
Put a scratch and sniff on the showerhead.
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
Stegosaur-rust.
Yo momma's so ugly, Freddie Kruger took a paternity test to prove he wasn't her son.
A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial.
When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
Vote:
My wife has given me a reason to live – revenge.
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
A: The Food!
Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room?
A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.