Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
Vote:
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Vote:
Doctor: "You have trouble with your throat? Have you ever gargled with salt water?"
Patient: "Yes. In last summer, I was almost drowned while swimming."
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
A old snake goes to see his Doctor.
"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
Two undercover police officers assigned to the organized crime unit were overlooking a bloody mob hit scene.
The victim had six gun shot wounds to the back of the head.
One cop looks at the other and utters, "Worst case of suicide I've ever seen."
Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?
A: Because blondes would have to think them up.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)