A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
To give you an idea of the kind of season we've had, the person who handled our side of the scoreboard was sick for three weeks and nobody noticed.
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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Whats the only thing darker than a black man?
His Future.
The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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