Best jokes ever

Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Vote: has 43.44 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, music
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Vote: has 43.43 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, animal
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? A:A high school math problem!
Vote: has 43.42 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Vote: has 43.42 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: What does pontiac stand for? A: Poor old nigger thinks its a cadillac.
Vote: has 43.41 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, black people
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 43.40 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship, gay
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman. "Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?" "Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk. When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist. The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here, buddy, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar." The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz." The bartender nodded, "Well, heck, if you're that far along you might as well finish the job."
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, bartender, work