Best jokes ever

This eighty year old couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary and the wife says to her husband, " Honey lets get stark naked and sit at the dinning table and eat our dinner!" As they sat at the dinning table the wife says, "Honey I am beginning to get very hot and very aroused!" The husband says, " That is because you have your tits in the soup!"
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has 48.96 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: age, anniversary, marriage, old people, wife
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: sex
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet? A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, morbid, sport
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror. He immediately changed to the Batman
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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has 48.93 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
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has 48.92 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: sex
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill? A mudslide.
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has 48.92 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 48.85 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
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