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Yo mama so skinny... She turned sideways and dissapeared
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Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, technology, money
They put one man on the moon. Why can’t they put them all there?
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More jokes about: men
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
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Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, stupid, time, food, insulting
Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
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More jokes about: money
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
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Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
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More jokes about: disgusting