Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
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Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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What did the volcano say to the other volcano?
Stop erupting me.
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
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A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"Youre under 18," replies the barman.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.
One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."