Yo momma’s so fat, her chairs have seat belts.
There was a tragic end to the water polo championships – all the horses drowned.
A sargeant bawled out a rookie. "Did you watch all of the exits like I told you?" "Yep," the rookie answered. "I think he must have left by one of the entrances!
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
Did you hear about the policeman who found a stolen car on Acacia Street? He pushed it onto Park Street – he couldn’t spell Acacia.
What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Stop erupting me.
What’s black and tan and looks great on a lawyer? A Dobermann pinscher.
What’s the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? Lipstick.
When is a door sweet and tasty? When its jammed!