What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A women who won't do what she's told.
Yo momma’s so fat, she sells shade in the summer.
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Marraige is a 3-ring circus. Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.
How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.
My wife has given me a reason to live – revenge.
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes" Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
A woman applies for a job in a lemon grove. ‘Have you got any experience picking lemons?’ asks the foreman. ‘I certainly have,’ says the woman. ‘I’ve been married four times.’
Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.