There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner.
The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly.
The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.
The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment.
Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, “This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!”
The farmer looked puzzled and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”
A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS:
Dangerous
Excessive
Member
Of
Crazy
Rats
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Peter approaches the gates of Heaven.
"Knock knock," says Peter.
Miraculously, someone answers him.
"Who's there," a voice in the distance asked.
"God," says Peter.
"God who," asked the voice?
"GOD DAMMIT open these gates!
I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
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Husband: Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat...
Husband: How does it help
Wife: I use your toothbrush!
Q: What is long and black?
A: An unemployment line
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A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
I never married because there was no need – I have three pets which serve the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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