Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. the woman replied, snorting pepper.
A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news. “The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her. “Why is that great,” her friend asked. “It’s snowing today!”