Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant?
A: He's had a loophole named after him.
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A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn.
He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilization, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?"
The owner replies, "I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant."
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
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Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant?
A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
A: Jail.
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Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
She charges an arm and a leg.
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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Four Laws of Accounting:
1. Trial balances don't.
2. Bank reconciliations never do.
3. Working capital does not.
4. Return on investments never will.
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Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant?
A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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