Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant? A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: The accountant knows he's boring.
It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
Q: What do you call a group financial controller who's lost his job? A: Bob.