The best age jokes

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Vote: has 61.52 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

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A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
Vote: has 60.66 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.” The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.” One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.” Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!” Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?” Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison… “We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, age, birthday, party
COP: "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." LADY: "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.”
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
Vote: has 59.89 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, age, doctor, sex
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, medical, student, age, health
What weighs 35 tons, has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old? Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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