Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.
World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945.
What a coincidence.
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Yo momma is so old that her titties sag all the way to hell!
The boss snubs his employee because he took a flashlight with him to a date: "What kind of crap happens nowadays? When I was in your age, I wasn’t carrying any flashlight with me on a date. I was always meeting my girlfriends in the dark."
"And what did that got you... Take a look at what you’ve married in to!"
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.
The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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This eighty year old couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary and the wife says to her husband, " Honey lets get stark naked and sit at the dinning table and eat our dinner!"
As they sat at the dinning table the wife says, "Honey I am beginning to get very hot and very aroused!"
The husband says, " That is because you have your tits in the soup!"
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
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A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"Youre under 18," replies the barman.