Q: What is your date of birth? A: December 30th. Q: What year? A: Every year
I saw the priest watching pornography. Should I get jelous? -Johnny, 11 years old.
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
Why doesnt a man eat out an 80 year old woman? Ever opened up a grilled cheese?
Wine improves with age – the older you get the more you like it.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.