Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Q. What do frogs do with paper? A. Rip-it!
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!