Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes?
A dumb bunny.
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
What kind of whale flies?
Pilot whales.
How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots.
Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?
He was a rough rider!
Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!"
"There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time.
My fee, of course, will be $1,500."
Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"