Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
Vote:
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
Vote:
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian.
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.
Why did the spider buy a car?
So he could take it out for a spin!
Why do milking stools only have three legs?
'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden.
Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says:
Mama, is that you?
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Bunny farts!
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.