So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Two cows were talking.One cow asked the other" I wonder what hamburgers are made of?" The other cow replied "YOUR MOM!
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.