The best animal jokes

It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, travel
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
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has 41.62 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
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has 41.06 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?" The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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has 40.88 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, sport
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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has 40.47 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
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