I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes?
A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps.
Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.
Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Vote:
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Vote:
What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
Vote:
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his.
At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says:
There were 24 pigs gentlemen!
Twice as much than you!
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
Vote:
In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York.