The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, animal
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, animal, food
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches? A:Because they can.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, animal
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, phone
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? A tiger has the mane part missing.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, death, animal