The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, animal
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
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More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, animal
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
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More jokes about: animal, food, cop, lawyer
A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship. His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying "Big deal, the cards up his sleeve." or "He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!" One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot. For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas. Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed ‘"kay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!"
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Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
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When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, animal