The best animal jokes

Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Thanksgiving, animal, geography
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
Vote: has 69.88 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, dog, animal, food
A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows. Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark. He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators. "Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?" Modestly our hero says: "Actually I'm from England." The next days newspaper headline says "Pommy mongrel kills child's pet"
Vote: has 69.85 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, animal, death
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"
Vote: has 69.61 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, animal
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
Vote: has 69.52 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, animal, bar, gay
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Vote: has 69.30 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, baby, animal, insulting