Q: What's long and thin and covered with skin and nobody knows how many holes its been in.
A: A worm.
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?"
Patient: "I think I’m a chicken."
Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur.
"One spur?" asked the saddler.
"Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?"
"No, just one," replied the horseman.
"If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger!
Beware of Dog’.
He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor.
‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper.
‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper.
‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
Q: Why do pandas like old movies?
A: Because they are black and white.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A: A civil serpent.
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?
Reptiles.