The best animal jokes

Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
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Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
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Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow.
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"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
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Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, animal, death, life
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
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Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
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Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
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More jokes about: dirty, animal, disgusting