The best animal jokes

As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, “Hippocrates, come!” Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts. The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, “Sliderule, come!” Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie. The attorney watched the other two dogs, and called “Bullshit, come!” Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff. Bullshit immediately sodomised the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, dog
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
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has 61.15 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, school, teacher
What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
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has 60.88 % from 431 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
What's the difference between a tiger and a lion? A tiger has the mane part missing.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
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has 60.84 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
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