The best animal jokes

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
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Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
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Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold.
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What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson? He stank to the bottom of the pool.
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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
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A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
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An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
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What do you call a neurotic octopus? A crazy, mixed-up squid.
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Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.
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