Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up? Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.