What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Ground round.
Why are cows made for dancing?
They re all born hoofers.
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
How do you make a rabbit fast?
Don't feed it.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road.
He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen.
Damn, that is one ugly child!."
As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears.
Just then, a mailman came to her rescue.
"What's the matter, madam?" he asked.
"I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed.
"There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket.
"Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"