What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
Nothing, you just run away.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A stripey sweater.
What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool.
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
He stung her into action.
What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths?
Lefty.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’
Boy: ‘I’m not.
I’m just holding it.
It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Vote:
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote: