Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away.
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
What's a pet's favorite day? Saint Petrick's Day.
What should you call a bald teddy? Fred bear .
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day? After a week he was spotless.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep? A stripey sweater.
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.