Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Vote:
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle.
"I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox?
A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
Vote:
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
Tow millipedes went for honey moon.
The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Beef-flat!