What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Show and smell.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle?
A. Wheeeee.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up.
The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them.
I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station.
The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here!
I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time.
Today I am taking them to the beach."
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got 'em."
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
What do cows get when they are sick?
Hay Fever.
What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Mooney.
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.