The best animal jokes

Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
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A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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More jokes about: animal, parrot, death, bird
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.
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A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, animal, food
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
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Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, money, animal, insulting