A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common? Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball? They re both brown, except the snowball.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.