The best animal jokes

Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers.
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Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
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What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
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Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.
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Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
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Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
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What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys? Rhesus Pieces.
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A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg. The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw." "So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked. "One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up." The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?" "You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"
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