What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Hey, could you go walk the dog?"
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.