Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
Q: What's the difference between Yo' Mama and a hippo? A: One has a big mouth and a fat ass. The other lives in rivers in tropical countries.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
"Why cant you play cards in the jungle?" "Because theres to many cheetahs."
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong. Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy." "Like what?" asked Fozzie. "Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't." Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that? You're not a prude or anything." "No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.