The best baby jokes

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, baby, food
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
Vote: has 41.30 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, baby, dead baby, death
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
Vote: has 39.91 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, baby, dead baby
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Vote: has 39.21 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, ugly, baby, animal
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote: has 37.20 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, ugly, baby
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, baby
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 35.66 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, sex, women, baby
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, baby, animal