The best baby jokes

What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor, baby
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarea and thought he was melting.
Vote: has 33.88 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, baby, health
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Vote: has 32.77 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, baby
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Vote: has 32.18 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, car, death, heaven, baby
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Vote: has 31.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, baby
Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy". The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, ginger, blonde, baby
How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, baby
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, marriage, baby
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Vote: has 26.76 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, baby
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, phone, baby