The best baby jokes

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. "What’s the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: "That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home… I just want her to stay with you guys."
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More jokes about: little Johnny, baby, car, christian
Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby? It's annoying when it comes out black.
Vote: has 71.09 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, baby, black people
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
Vote: has 70.99 % from 133 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, baby, wife, kids, college
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, baby
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
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More jokes about: life, music, baby, celebrity
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby's crib? A: A snowmobile!
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: winter, wife, baby
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, women, baby, memory
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
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More jokes about: Yo mama, ugly, baby, animal, insulting
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
Vote: has 68.81 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, wife, doctor, baby, dad
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, baby, animal