A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar.
They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?”
The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer...and a mop.
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot?
Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on.
It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal.
"I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.
Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge.
The second guy hands the first guy the money.
"I can't take your money," said the first guy.
"I cheated you.
The same story was on the five o'clock news."
"No, no. Take it," said the second guy.
"I saw the five o'clock news too.
I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
Vote:
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He only brought enough money for one beer though.
As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom.
Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom.
When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer.
Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?"
Customer says "bourbon and coke."
Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?"
He says nods his head yes.
10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure."
Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?"
And customer nods yes.
Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that."
Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
Vote:
Joke has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, customer service, vulgar
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"
"No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter.
After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs."
Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone."
The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"