The best beauty jokes

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
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More jokes about: marriage, love, beauty, birthday, life
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful? Beautician: Maybe. Does he still drink a lot?
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More jokes about: beauty, husband, alcohol, women
My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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More jokes about: women, men, beauty
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!" Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.” Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
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More jokes about: life, beauty
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, beauty, communication, family
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, winter, women, beauty
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, women, money
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, beauty, women, geek
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
Vote: has 22.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, beauty, baby