The best bird jokes

Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
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More jokes about: dirty, food, bird, kids
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, bird, animal, poems
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, bird
Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
Vote: has 59.79 % from 4 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, money, insulting, bird
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, parrot, death, bird
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do. Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, bird, dog, love
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?" The man in the car says "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue." The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo." "Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away. The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car. "Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo." "Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time. Today I am taking them to the beach."
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, car
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, parrot, health
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, bird, death
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: winter, bird, travel, geography